*life so far*

erm...
in case you are wondering why
i didnt update for so long....
i crashed my lap top's hard drive.
haha.

and if are still wondering...

"thats ur lap top what. not your destop....
still can update ba...."

i update my post daily in my laptop.
it's more private then my blog.
then those 'not so' private post,
i'll upload it to my blog....
and so...
i lost at least 2 weeks of updates in my lap top.

understand ppl?

anyways,
this is just a brief update.
heh.
life has been rather confusing lately.

been clubbing with alice and jon almost weekly.
i guess besides playing music,
clubbing comes in second for me to release stress.

STRESS.....
nah.
not school stress.
more of love life stress.
hah.
i shouldnt have trust people so easily.
especially those who LOVES to sweet talk.
and what did i get in the end,
HURT again.
bleph.
dont wanna bother about it anymore.

family,
mom has becoming more and more
pain in the ass.
i begining to hate her more.
seriously to the state of not even
noticed or acknowledge her presence.

as you know,
mom and i was not in talking terms since feb 2007.
not a single "hi" or "bye".
its not exactly i didnt make an effort to
rekindle our r/s.
she rejected me bluntly when i wanted to
kiss her hand before leaving home.
WAH....
PURE BITCH lah...

anyways,
i've been thinking,
eversince i broke up with my last ex 8 months ago,
i kept on dating alot of people.
and we always end up with me being 'unsure'
about the r/s.
i just could not find myself loving that person
as much as i loved my ex.
and those people i date usually becomes my
close friend or just plainly being hurt by me.
i'm sorry for what i've done.

everything i do always turn bad.
the outcome is ALWAYS NEGATIVE.

bah.....

i just need my friends around me now.

and CA, i miss you like f***.

PEACE OUT!